So this is a really emotional subject for me, since I’ve been in this battle with my parents since I started college. ( I am in my third year now.) I am starting school at San Jose State University in the fall, and I chose it out of 3 states schools so my parents will be at peace with me being there. I chose that school for them. I thought, and understood that, if I did choose that school, I would be able to move out. Since my parents will still keep an eye on me.
Some background on me; I am a filipina that is a girl and an only child.
The odds are not in my favor.
So here we are.. time is crunching for me to apply for on campus housing ( I just want to experience it for a semester, and get my feet wet on being independent. But no, my parents have teamed up against me to do whatever they can to make me not move out.
Honestly, we are not underprivileged. We have the $$ to do so. They both work in Silicon Valley jobs, but no. They want me here until I’m married, or maybe even longer.
I hate being filipino sometimes, because the traditions and customs are expected to stay the same. I’d be okay if I was raised in a filipino community, but no my parents forced me to go to church in Los Altos (which I don’t resent at all, I love it). But let’s be real.. the community I was raised in, is filled with wealthy caucasians, who are very supportive of sending off their children to different schools across the world 100%. Here I am on facebook, envying all their different lifestyles, and I have grown accustom to thinking that is what is supposed to happen. That is college. I understand that I see other people who are in the same situation as me, here in milpy.. but it’s different.. I can’t totally explain it, but all my closest friends are getting this experience that I am yearning for, and it is so difficult to make my parents budge.
Honestly, I have been chugging through school because I thought that I would be able to move out by the time I transferred. That was my goal. I appreciate my education, but my passion is not in it. As I’ve posted before, I want to be out in the world learning about people with them, not through pages and pages of books. I want to be immersed in it, but unfortunately that is not how our society works.. For me to get there I need money, for me to get money I need a job, for me to get a good job, is to have an education. It’s a deathly cycle that I can’t break out of.. I don’t have the option to because then my dreams will not become reality. But right now I am feeling hopeless because this little dream that so many American’s go through each year is such a distant thought.
this makes no sense probably. oh well.