Long time no real blog, even though I should be doing my homework right now or doing something productive, here I am on tumblr. I submitted my apps to Sac and SFSU today (no more sjsu, really don’t want to go there). One thing off of my checklist. By this time next week, I should have my pays anthro midterm (wtf, midterm.. I know!), research paper done, and 12 hours of community service complete. None of those are even close to that.. on top of that I have rehearsals for Festival on Saturday and Sunday… Journey on Sunday night, and blah blah blah.
I registered for my classes at De Anza today, and am waitlisted for 1 of them, my physical anthropology lab that I need to have done before I get out.. Problem is.. I want to be able to be done with all the classes that I need to take at De Anza, so spring quarter I can take like two online courses. That looks like it’s not going to happen. Paid 500+ dollars for registration and apps today.. Hopefully none of this will matter if I get into UOP or UPS for the spring, because dang, that would be awesome and a majority of the stuff I just wrote would be irrelevant really.
I am just so done with De Anza, this quarter, this work… and ready to be on break.. AND HEAR A DECISION FROM EITHER SCHOOL.. because gosh, I’m praying so hard.. I’m ready to move on with my life..
but my tour hearts started falling off my wall today, which made me sad, but I decided to read them. It’s so crazy how meaningful these are, but the relationships with some people are not what they used to be, and some are exactly the same. Some of these people, I have grown extremely close with out of Starfire, and some I have grown apart. It’s okay, that’s life.
But there is always one that I don’t think will ever change, and although these heart passages are 1-4 years old, I can still hear him say this to me today.
I just wanted to put these on here, just in case I lose my hearts for any reason.. I have somewhere to look back at these specific three:
Sophomore year ~ Northwest Tour. 4 years
Oh Nadine, You are truly, all jokes aside, one of the coolest people I know. I am so so glad that you came on tour. I cannot express in words how much I appreciate your presence. The fact that I might have had something to do with you coming on tour is such a flattering thought. When I first reunited with you this year, the only thing I wanted was for you to come out fo your shell. I am so glad that happened because you are such an amazingly genuine and thoughtful person at your core. So I hope that coming on tour was as amazing for you as it was for me. I love you and hope you know you can always come to me for anything. -Dylan
Junior Year ~ Southwest Tour. 3 years
This is hard to write. As you sit next to me here on the bus I can’t help but think about all that has happened between you and me to get to this place. I guess it all started back when we were young and hating Sunday school. Needless to say, I am so very glad that you decided to join Starfire and then decided to go on tour. Through the past two years I have grown to truly and deeply love you and the things you have brought to my life. I have never met someone so carefree and fun to be around. You have showed me what it means to just be crazy all the time and just enjoy the fun parts of life. Thinking of not being able to be with you every week is more than I can handle. Hopefully though it will make our reunions that much more special. I could go on writing forever but I can’t just do that so I better get closing. If there is one thing I would ask of you it would be to be open next year and overly-inclusive. Your class needs you to lead them. Keep in mind that you have your friends but you are not your friends. Be yourself all the time. As I run out of space I am really starting to realize how much I will miss you. Until we meet again though, I love you more than anything and am always here for especially you - Dyl
(when I was a senior, 2 years ago, he did not go on tour)
Mexico ~ Freshmen year College 1 year
I am blessed to have you in my life. You keep me animated and fresh and alive. I get so uptight sometimes and you bring me back to earth. I am so glad you came on this trip with me. It means a lot to me to watch you step out of your box and share your joy with the world. You are meant to spread joy, I know it. Keep your heart and mind open and don’t be afraid to try new things. I am so excited to grow old together and to develop our relationship with each other. You light my life. I love you - Dyl
After reading these, and all the other entries, positive memories come back to me, and then I feel scared. It’s crazy how fast time is flying. I remember sitting on the back of the bus during southwest tour, each day sitting next to him.. with my dora the explorer blanket, and in a few months he’s graduating college.. ready to begin the next step of his life.. and here I am just beginning the process of transferring out, not know where I’ll be in the next few months, it’s all quite scary. I am just hoping in some way, we are able to be together more and more, because after reading these tonight, I miss him more than ever. I can’t even begin to explain how special this guy is to me, and how blessed I am to have him in my life, not only as my boyfriend, but as one of my closest friends. He has taught me so much. I am glad that these words that are years old, but they are still able to make the same exact impact, unlike others I’ve read. I am just praying and praying that there will be a time where we won’t be apart. But as long as he’s in my life, I’m happy.
footage on the news right now… and man oh man it is disgusting how the police are treating people, shoving their batons at the people to break up the protests.. ripping down their signs..
I just find it pretty crazy that the people that are protesting mostly go to school at UCBerkeley, so they kind of are paying so much money a year to be there, and then they are getting censored at the place they pay money to be it. It’s sickening..It’s not like they are trashing the place.. If anything, I think it’s the police that is causing it to escalate in all honesty.