spending time with my cousin’s sons… life is still on my mind things that shouldn’t be in my head during my short time with these cute little babies
why does being in a LDR have to be so difficult. I’ve learned to understand that D is irresponsible with his phone, which is why I’m used to having some conversations with myself at times, but I don’t want to stop because I care, and I don’t want to pretend that I don’t, I do. I send him random tidbits of my day because it’s what makes me feel better about our relationship. It just get’s really hard for me on weekends, because well you know, we just live different lives. My problem is that I don’t really know what goes on, I fully trust him, I just wish we were able to communicate about our days. I can go on and on about random things and he would listen, which I appreciate, but honestly, I don’t know a single thing on what goes on to his day to day life. This is going to be our third year together, and it just sucks. He doesn’t believe me when I say, I’m not mad, when I only say a few words in a text message. Upset? Yes. Dissapointed? Yes. But what can I do? I try not to rash out on you, and I am trying to understand that our views on communication are different. These little things affect me so much. Honestly I don’t know why I’m writing this, maybe seeking advice, who knows. It just sucks that shit like this is happening the week of my birthday
my best bet is that when he comes home, we’ll have our physical time together, and things will be better, and then he goes, and the cycle continues again.
1. iPhone 2. Flip Cam (UltraHD 8GB, Design: Blue Glow)
Flip Cameras are the best!! I just dislike how zoomed in it is. but it’s a sweet little camera to take in those random moments, but if you’re gonna get an iPhone 4 i saw that the video quality is pretty much similar, so idk :)
I am apologizing to all those I have hurt consciously or unconsciously today.
I want to start over. I want my mind to be pure and stress-free of things that are completely irrelevant and childish. Hopefully by today I can message all those that I have said mean things to, because honestly I feel disgusting. I feel like dirt, and that’s not how I want to feel. I want to be happy. I want the people surrounding me to be happy. A lot of things have bogged me down in the past year, and I just want to break those ties, or strengthen those ties. Whichever, as long as it will give my mind peace. It’s a selfish act, but I think I really need to do this to grow, to be stronger in myself, and stronger in my faith. I want to be genuine. I want my judgements to stop existing. I’ve learned so much from my critical thinking class and church. What good will it do bad mouthing, or holding grudges against someone or something? It does nothing except bring you down and the other person down. Although friendships fade and dissolve, it doesn’t meant the memories we create won’t last in me forever, but times are changing, and people grow apart, it is something that is inevitable. What am I supposed to do? This, be happy, and apologize to all those I have hurt. I want to be genuine. This is the first step.
Dylan is so nice, and takes a break from his life and helps me out with my struggles whenever I’m in need. I’m so grateful because now I have one less thing to worry about and can focus on my stupid Physical Geography Midterm thats worth 20 percent of my grade, fml.
Back to studying
and im so happy he shaved, he noticed I was happier haha